Since this is the time when employers are deluged with job applications from high school and college graduates, cover letters and resumes are on many minds.? Last week, we looked at some humorous bloopers and blunders from actual cover letters submitted to employers.? Not only was this designed to give a few laughs but, hopefully, to give a few pointers to those who are currently engaged in the process of looking for employment.
??????????????? Let?s say that your cover letter has passed the scrutiny of your prospective employer.
Next comes the resume.? This week, again in an effort to both amuse and educate, let?s look at some resume bloopers and blunders.? The typos and misspellings are intentional, as they are from actual
resumes submitted to potential employers.
??????????????? *I?m a rabid typist.
??????????????? *Develop and recommend an annual operation expense fudget.
??????????????? *Education:? College, August 1880 ? May 1984.
??????????????? *I was proud to win the Gregg Typting Award.
??????????????? *Here are my qualifications to overlook.
* I?m working today in a furniture factory as a drawer.
*I am about to enroll on a Business and Finance Degree with the Open University.? I feel that
this qualification will prove detrimental to me for future success.
*I belive that weakness is the first level of strength, given the right attitude and driving force.
?My school advised me to fix my punctuality.
*Then there was the resume that the candidate wrote as a play ? Act 1, Act 2, etc.
*Skills:? Strong Work Ethic, Attention to Detail, Team Player, Self Motivated, Attention to
Detail.
*One applicant used colored paper and drew glitter designs around the border.
*Why Interested in Position:? to keep my parole officer from putting me back in jail.
*Misspelled the word ?proofreading? in her skill set.
??????????????? *Objective:? Career on the Information Supper Highway.
??????????????? *Experience:? Stalking, shipping & receiving.
??????????????? *My duties included cleaning the restrooms and seating the customers.
??????????????? *Achievements:? Nominated for prom queen.
??????????????? *A resume was printed on the back of the person?s current employer?s letterhead.
??????????????? *Won a contest for building toothpick bridges in middle school.
??????????????? *One resume arrived with several grease stains and a smudge of chocolate on it.
??????????????? *Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.
??????????????? *Planned a new corporate facility at $3 million over budget.
??????????????? *Failed bar exam with relatively high grades.
??????????????? *Skills:? I can type without looking at thekeyboard.
??????????????? *Objective:? I want to play a major part in watching a company advance.
??????????????? *Objective:? So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ?Jerry McGuire? puts it,
????? ????????? ?Show me the money!?
??????????????? *Skills:? I have integrity so I will not steal office supplies and take them home.
??????????????? *Skills:? I have technical skills that will take your breath away.
??????????????? *Objective:? I would like to work for a company that is very lax when it comes to tardiness.
??????????????? *Education:? Have repeated courses repeatedly.
??????????????? *Salary requirements:? The higher the better.
??????????????? *Bad traits:? I am very bad about time and don?t mind admitting it.? Having to arrive at a
??????????????? certain hour doesn?t make sense to me.? What does make sense is that I do the job.? Any
??????????????? company that insists upon rigid time schedules will find me a nightmare.
??????????????? *References:? Bill, Tom, Eric.? But I don?t know their phone number.
??????????????? *Education:? I have a bachelorette degree in computers.
??????????????? *Skills:? Being bi-lingual in three languages.
??????????????? *Reason for leaving last job:? They didn?t allow me to surf the web as often as I?d like to.? They ??????????????
??????????????? weren?t very nice about it either.
???????????????????????????????
??????????????? If it happened to be YOUR business looking for employees, what would you think about these resumes?? It is probably safe to say that you would pass on these resumes and look further.? We hope you are enjoying a laugh or two along the way, and learning something as well.
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